A Psalm of Gratitude
For my sin, O God, You have not of me required payment. All of Your justice and sovereignty demand that I be punished to death for my sin against You. Yet upon me You place no punishment.
I have been ignorant, willfully ignorant of Your sovereignty over me. I have rejected and quenched Your Spirit as You offered comfort and guidance and knowledge. Yet from me You exact no revenge.
God, I have used my hands and eyes and ears and mind to worship myself and my concerns. I have ignored You.
I have been satisfied with worshipping and adoring temporary, fleshly, impure pleasure, rejecting the pleasure of intimacy with You.
Lord, my mind is double, my heart divided, still loving what the Old Man loves, yet aware of Your greatness and Your superiority.
And still You forgive me and withhold your righteous anger.
Because of Your Son.
Jesus suffered Your angry, righteous judgement and punishment for my sin. For my selfish lust, content to exchange worship of You for watching images of lust and desire, You punished Jesus.
Jesus suffered Your wrath in my place. For me He was beaten, mocked and killed. For me He was separated from You, regarded by You as the sum total of all wickedness and evil in the world. He was cast down, trampled and thrown away as worthless because of my sin against You.
For me Jesus died.
And Jesus succeeded. I've experienced none of Your wrath. You treat me as Your child. You look at me as if I'd never sinned, never been the cause of Your Son's death.
I have lived now more than 53 years. 53 years. You have passed over my sin and rebellion many more times than seven times seventy. Every year saw 365 days. If I expressed my sinful and rebellious heart only once per day...19,345 instances in which I deserved punishment. And the punishment should be in accordance with the One sinned against. Sin against the Holy, Almighty Creator and Sustainer of the earth deserves nothing less than eternal death, separated forever from all that is God, which is all that is Good.
Whether I acted out my sinful heart 19,345 times or only once, the root of my sinful actions remains the same: sin.
I pervert all that I touch, or look at, or possess, or make. In my heart there is nothing good. On my own merits, I have nothing good. I do nothing good. I am nothing good. I am worthless without the value place upon me by God, demonstrated by the depth of sorrow and loss He required His Son to endure, in order that I might escape God's righteous judgement.
Thank You, God!